I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
