Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
