I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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