But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
