how can u be prego again
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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