i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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