Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
