I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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