For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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