oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
MIDGETS
????
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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