I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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