Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
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He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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