i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
