Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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