Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
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Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?