im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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