batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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