you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
