Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
