The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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