If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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