scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
