just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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