You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
