One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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