i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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