i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What a dumb baby whore.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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