yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize