It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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