May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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