i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
