Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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