insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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