Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
