With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
