I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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