he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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