Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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