farters have to be the big spoon...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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