im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
