I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
