Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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