HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
im on a boat
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