Ketchup is God's man juice
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
