She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
