Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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