i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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