Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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