fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
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Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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