There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
