A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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