Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
