You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
