he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
