That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize