seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
