I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
