please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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