she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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