you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
