oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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